Justice is truly one of the most difficult pursuits today because our court systems have been corrupted. Those individuals who are either dispossessed, disillusioned or disenfranchised have no hope for vindication of their rights because the system was designed for the wealthy. In an attempt to secure such an illusive concept many people have observed that a trial is the last blood sport in civilization. For many attorneys they are not interested in the truth of your story but rather the subjective truth. A trial is no different than any drama on television. Attorneys generally relay that your story will be told as you have described the injustices. However, what happens is that the truth, your truth, will never be told, especially by your attorney. The goal is to win at any cost regardless of the damage to the individual. The better your facts are, and the rightness of the law in your favor the pursuit for justice is oftentimes essentially worthless. At the end of the day what counts is who is standing in the pool of blood and who is down for the count. I have often wondered about how people who have perjured themselves or been involved in destroying good evidence and creating their own can look at themselves in the mirror or sleep at night knowing they have torn another person's heart out. The goal of winning is no longer good enough, they must destroy the opposition so it can never rise again. I know of what I speak. I served as a federal administrative civil rights judge. A goal I dreamed about since the age of seven. A dream that came true on my 49th birthday. Unfortunately, be careful what you wish for. One day I was approached by the management and told to change a sixty three page decision where I found egregious illegal conduct directed towards two Asian women attorneys. Gross violations of the law. My supervising judge read the decision and like the rest of my decisions found the work to be outstanding. The next day I went into the hospital where it was discovered that I had ovarian cancer. One day post surgery my boss telephoned me and demanded that I return to the office immediately. Under the worst personal circumstances, I went into my office only to find that the Director demanded that I change my decision to no discrimination or violations of the Equal Pay Act. I was shocked. This was a direct order. I asked "Why." The answer was as follows: "The Chairwoman in Washington DC does not want a sister agency to be punished so harshly, regardless of what the women suffered. I outright refused. I replied, "I do not change decisions just because you do not want the wrongdoer punished. I do not care who wants it changed or for what reason. My decision was on point. I immediately called a taxi and returned to the hospital. My boss changed the decision and retaliated against me for any and all reasons. I was the only judge who challenged their illegal and unethical policies and their concept of justice. Justice for these powerful individuals consisted of moving cases off their desk, it was always about closing cases, numbers. The better the office numbers the more my Director would receive as a Christmas bonus. It was never about serving those individuals who had suffered tremendously because their employers either fired them, were denied promotions, held to different standards than their co-workers all because of their color, national origin, sex, disabilities, or race. Based on underlying prejudices against people who by the very nature of their birthing could not change. Every year during staff meetings I raised my hand to state the obvious, "Sir you must not be familiar with our mission statement and the ensuing enabling legislation. The question should be "how much justice did we accomplish.'" The agency I worked for, the EEOC, "the model employer" was given the mission of eradicating all vestiges of discrimination and retaliation. Yet, knowing that I was disabled by having multiple sclerosis and lupus the EEOC did whatever they could to destroy me. My supervisor said the following words to me, "Mary Elizabeth don't you get it yet, you will win your case but you will never see a dime, you will be dead - either by our hands or your own. I was devastated. I filed suit for failing to accommodate a request for a software program to help me see because I am legally blind. After four years of my requests and my physicians I filed suit against my own employer. Powerful people perjured themselves in bearing false testimony against me, and devised methods of destroying evidence and crafting their own to paint a picture of a rogue employee. From headquarters in Washington DC to Los Angeles they choreographed and orchestrated a full scale war against me for speaking out. The Protector became the Abuser. I am now in the 9th Circuit, pray for a miracle. The Agency's machinations were so convincing as they painted me to appear as a rogue employee. Everything was a lie. If the EEOC can do this to a judge, imagine what they can do to those who are unaware of the law. To date their behavior has not changed. No one single agency or board really reviews what the EEOC does. The corruption is endemic, there is no hope for change unless I, as well as others, can have their day in court. I have seen evil in all its forms. As a child I was violently sexually abused by my parents for ten years. Who could betray a child more than their parents in this manner. Who could betray a disable employee who suffers from two terminal illnesses more than the EEOC?
The pursuit of justice remains illusive. The EEOC, represented by the U.S. Attorneys' Office, have hundreds of lawyers. Even if I do not get the chance to change the law because the 9th Circuit Court found in favor of the EEOC, I will still make sure that the truth and my belief in justice will be accomplished as I am attempting to complete another life long dream, my book titled, "Judging Me." A tragic autobiography but nonetheless incredibly inspiring (as I have been told). Justice will prevail with time, enough money, and help from those who believe in me and what I am doing. I have dedicated my life to helping others. A majority of the proceeds from the book will go to those who have also been abused. I believe if they have a dream which would enable them to break away from their dispair and the obstacle is money than perhaps in the proceeds from the sale they will get an opportunity to have hope realized into a reality. As I have said repeatedly, "If I can take the debris of my life and fashion it in such a way that it helps just one other person, then what happened to me was worthwhile. Ultimately, you will be the judge of that!
I apoligize if I wrote too much, but it is my first time. Thank you in advance for any feedback. There is no ego here. Sometimes my own depression seems to overwhelm me because I am very much alone. To those gentle people who took the time to read this I thank you more than words can express.
Best Wishes!
Honorable Mary Elizabeth Bullock (Retired)
